Maternity: Love At First Sight
The word motherhood should mean love at first sight because there is no other emotion that is more like what a mother feels when she sees her baby for the first time.
If love is the purest feeling, motherhood is its most faithful archetype. There is nothing in the world that compares to this experience. Not professional success, the desire of the flesh, to be successful, to reach a desired goal, to see a great work completed… Any achievement is small compared to the event that is to give birth and see how another human being is taken out of your belly, breastfeeding, raising , hold in the arms, pamper, make you sleep…
That time when I was pregnant
That time, when I was pregnant, I thought I had experienced the best times I was going to have. Until then he had enjoyed a full existence. I studied the career of my dreams and was working exactly at the company I thought of working for during university. I had been married to my boyfriend for years; not the perfect man, but the one I loved.
To all my dream life I could add good health, a good economic situation and a united family. So I considered that I had everything I wanted.
So, I got pregnant and came the many hardships that a woman can go through during this period. I had profuse nausea during the first 3 months. I had to rest because of bleeding in early pregnancy. Then came the gestational diabetes that brought me so many worries… So, with back pain, leg inflammation, numbness in my hands, facial hair and excess weight that increasingly increased my difficulty in movement, it arrived the day of delivery.
As my pregnancy had not been the best, I couldn’t say that my life was as pleasant as before. That’s why I said that the best was over. From that moment on, everything was going to be worry, work, sacrifice and bad nights. I, who had never wanted to be a mother, who didn’t attract the attention of other people’s children, could no longer think and feel that way.
That time when I became a mother
That time when I became a mother, my life changed. The competitive, ambitious, self-centered woman who lived in herself died in childbirth. I just saw that creature drenched in tallow and blood that was crying until it could no longer, with its white buttocks and scrawny little feet, and I fell in love with it. At that moment, my world changed.
The day Elena was born a new woman blossomed in my heart : sentimental, fearful of all dangers, fearful, protective and mother. Mother, above all things; above all my old ambitions, the need to continue evolving professionally and the interest in having a healthy financial situation to increase my wealth.
It’s not that overnight I decided to give up my life. But yes, my life was now my daughter.
Maternity: love at first sight
Today, Elena is turning 3 years old and I’m still in love. This love at first sight, this platonic feeling I feel for her, has not disappeared and will never disappear.
With her I spent moments of sacrifice, worries, work and bad nights just like I thought it would be when I was pregnant. But, try as I might, I can’t remember any of those moments. I just keep the many hours of happiness he gave me, the good time we spent together.
As time went by, I returned to my professional life and I struggle daily. However, I do this more than for my old personal interests. I do it to give my daughter a better life.
I try to be her example. The mother who works and has time to take her to the amusement park, who puts discipline in her head and demands it from her when necessary.
I am a mother who embraces, guides, advises and protects. A mother never tires of saying how much I love her and that she tells her about this love at first sight that was born on a summer afternoon.
