How To Tell Your Friend, “I Love You But I Can’t Stand Your Child”

A good relationship between friends provides sharing unique moments. One of the characteristics of friendship is to feel good and do many nice things in the company of someone who is not your family. But sometimes good relationships end badly when children get in the way. That’s why it’s hard to find a way to tell my friend, “I can’t stand your child!”

It is common to say that whoever is a mother has the capacity to be a mother to any child in the world, but there are children that not even their own mothers can handle. It’s not always because of bad behavior, sometimes it’s arrogance, rebellion, crying or lack of tact with our children that makes other people’s children unbearable.

On the one hand, when it’s not about our children, we can more easily see how difficult these little beings can be to deal with. On the other hand, there are children who irritate a lot, but the situation gets worse when we realize that the parents do not interfere in the child’s conduct.

I have a friend who is very dear and I would like her to spend more time with me, but I can’t stand her son. I know how sensitive this topic is and I’m afraid to tell her not to come visit me with her son.

Is the child really unbearable or do I have little patience?

As a friend, we need to evaluate our relationship with the child of this very special being. Appreciation for someone should be accompanied by a dash of consideration and interest in their problems. We may be overjudging our friends, which also extends to our partner or family.

Thus, if the child is mischievous and difficult to control, it is very likely that the mother is aware of it and, consequently, has already lost count of the infinity of occasions that the child has already placed her in difficult situations. Therefore, it is necessary to be supportive of her and her problem.

If, on the other hand, it’s a personality problem, we probably have more responsibility than the child on this issue. Often times, it is not shouting, exaltation or indiscipline that leads us to feel disgust for a child, but intolerance towards their individuality and personality. If that’s the case, we need to reassess ourselves before upsetting and saddening the child’s mother.

My friend is a mother, but I’m not

A common case is having friends who became mothers before us. This of course can affect the relationship between the two  because one’s perspective has changed, but the other’s remains the same.

Between the friend who doesn’t have children and the other’s child, there may be some rivalry, however this possibility is the least frequent. On the other hand, the difficulty may come from the lack of willingness and responsibility of one in relation to the other’s single life.

In this case, neither of you is to blame for things not going well. But if we have respect and don’t want to damage our friendship, it’s preferable to learn to live with this insufferable child.

Another case is when the children of both fight. As protective mothers, we tend to come to our child’s defense when he feels smitten by our friend’s child’s insolence.

I don’t know how to tell my friend that I can’t stand her child

If she is your friend, she understands, respects and values ​​you, but this can be a very sensitive topic. The recommendation, in these cases, is to try to analyze the situation in depth because sometimes things are not as serious as they seem.

It is preferable not to have to speak ill of a child to a mother. Even though it seems like a question of sincerity, it can turn out to be very painful for the mother.

We parents are complicated when it comes to our children, so it’s better to be safe. If possible, avoid prolonged encounters. And if necessary, walk away until the little one is mature enough. There are no reasons worth ending a good friendship.