How To Prevent Children From Seeking Other People’s Approval

Making a child have remarkable self-esteem is the best way to prevent him from constantly seeking approval from other people, both at home and in other social settings, such as at school.

You’ve certainly seen the scene more than once where a stranger asks a child a question and he automatically looks to his parents to see what he can or should do. A situation that at first is quite normal, but that  can become a problem for children who constantly seek approval from other people.

However, is it okay for children to always need the approval of an adult, a guardian, a parent, or even another child? In truth no. This is not always positive, as it can compromise your safety, your self-concept and your self-esteem.

We need to remember that if the child grows up and develops being insecure and doubting himself constantly, this is how he will behave throughout his life. So if we don’t want little ones to end up as adults with low self-esteem and bad childhood memories, it’s important to  avoid looking for other people’s approval all the time.

Therefore, the  initial experiences are fundamental and will mark the personality of the child throughout his life. Thus, it is necessary for the child to develop in an environment of safety and well-being, with clear boundaries, without an excessive feeling of frustration and with a high self-esteem, instead of low or exacerbated.

Why should we prevent children from seeking approval from others?

Basically, the child knows two environments in which he spends most of his childhood: the family and school. If we look closely, we will notice that the child is at school or at home for more than three quarters of the day.

What does that mean? It means that to work on the child’s safety and prevent them from constantly seeking the approval of other people, we must focus on both environments, the family and the school.

the child at home

It is normal for the child to depend on the parents, as they are the ones who provide affection, support and protection. However, if the adult does not naturalize this fact, it can end up affecting the child’s self-esteem.

That is, a father or a mother must give children confidence so that they know that they do not need to earn their support or affection. That way, it will be easier to ensure that the child does not always have to be looking for the respect and love of their parents.

With a creation with attachment safe, the  children know that they have the right to have their own opinions, to approve themselves to be more confident and trust their possibilities without always be seeking the help, approval and review of adults.

However, this should not be confused with paternal and maternal attitudes that are overprotective or overly rigid. It is not about raising submissive and obedient children, but rather responsible and able to control themselves properly.

constant listening

Thus,  we will have to maintain a constant positive attitude of active listening. In this way, we will be able to understand the child, know their opinions, give them the importance they have and allow the child to express them and feel respected and loved, without at any time thinking that this could lead us to withdraw our Love and affection.

Of course, we must also make it clear when behavior is inappropriate or if an opinion does not seem appropriate and our position is contrary to yours.

The school

In this sense, we must remember at all times that the school also plays a vital socializing role in the child’s education. In the classroom, she can seek constant approval from teachers or peers to feel integrated.

Therefore, the  teachers should get children to build a strong and solid self-esteem so that their relationships do not become problematic, toxic or much dependence.

We must remember that preventing children from seeking approval from others serves to prevent abuse. Therefore, teachers must show children that they care and respect them  and that being more or less dependent will not change the situation.

It is essential that each child understands that their principles matter, as well as their way of being. We must respect her unconditionally so that she doesn’t feel obligated to constantly seek anyone’s approval.

In short, it may be that certain behaviors of the child need to be corrected. However, knowing how to prevent children from constantly seeking other people’s approval involves solving every problem that arises without affecting our little ones’ self-esteem and confidence.