Banning Children: Parental Mistakes
All of us, as parents, want to educate our children in the best possible way. But sometimes, forbidding children to do certain things only harms them. Unintentionally, of course, and unconsciously.
Parents tend to forbid their children from doing certain things as a way to protect, educate, and correct them. But sometimes these prohibitions restrict your freedom as an individual and hinder the development of personality, self-knowledge, confidence and even the autonomy of the little ones.
If you want to know what things as parents we prohibit but shouldn’t, read on.
Prohibit children: limits and rules vs. excessive prohibitions
We all agree that rules and limits are very necessary for the education of children. This helps them to relate to others and the environment around them in a healthy way. And beyond that, it’s also important for your safety and personal well-being.
However, there are certain things that we should never forbid children from doing, but most of us forbid. We forbid screaming, running, jumping, asking, crying and sometimes even getting dirty! Next, we’ll show you a list of things we shouldn’t forbid children from doing.
Things we shouldn’t forbid children from doing
play like a child
If you stop to think about a few moments from your childhood, surely many of them have to do with playing with clay, jumping into a puddle, exploring for treasure…
So why not let your child jump in puddles, get muddy and explore? We can take care of the mess later, when it’s time to clean up, and ripped pants can definitely be sewn on.
The only thing we need to ensure is that games take place in a safe environment. And if you want to have fun too, why not play with the kids, even if you get dirty in the end? Let your most childish side come out with them.
Asking is one of the things we don’t need to forbid children from doing
Sometimes the continual questions from the little ones end up overwhelming us. But they don’t do this to annoy us, but to have answers to their concerns. At this stage, they need to understand the world.
So instead of saying “stop asking” or “don’t ask so much,” you can propose looking up the answer together in a book, an atlas, or any other means that can help answer your children’s questions.
express yourself
We must not forbid children to express themselves, neither at home nor outside. Many of us have seen our little ones say something inconvenient in front of relatives or acquaintances, so we categorically prohibit them from saying something in front of their elders.
But, if you deprive the child of the right to express himself from childhood, in the future he will be a person who will not express his thoughts, emotions or ideas.
What is recommended is to teach values such as respect and consideration for others and show that, sometimes, we can harm other people with our sentences. Always accept children’s opinions like anyone else’s.
To cry
If you forbid your child to cry, you are forbidding him to express his emotions. Just as he laughs when he’s happy, it’s totally normal for him to cry when he’s sad. Don’t use phrases like “stop crying” or “crying is a…” thing.
Instead, ask what the problem is, so your child can express her own feelings and develop much-needed emotional intelligence.
be possessive of things
Why do we need to force kids to share everything, anytime, anywhere? These things belong to them. We have to teach the value of being generous and the importance of sharing, but never force them.
When your child doesn’t want to share a toy, for example, don’t take it away to give to another child. If you do, you won’t be teaching your little one to share. On the contrary, with this you will show that, when the child wants something, he can take it from someone else.
To be a child
Children run, scream, jump and laugh out loud. Yes, they make a lot of noise! They tantrum, disobey and play mischief. In short, they have a lot of energy and curiosity, they explore, discover, make mistakes, get dirty… Of course, because they are children, not plants!
Therefore, we can not force them to stay silent, quiet and motionless for an hour in somewhere else, without having anything to do. That’s the nature of children: vitality and movement.
In this space, we show you some of the things parents go wrong by forbidding children to do. Children are children, and we can’t forbid them to be the way they are because we’ve been through that too.
These prohibitions end up affecting the behavior, freedom, trust, personality and autonomy of the little ones. So, are we going to try to avoid them?
