Should My Son Live With Grandparents?

When we raise our children in our grandparents’ house or even when the grandparents need to move into our house, conflicts and complications that we didn’t know about often arise. However, there are also a number of benefits that mothers end up not taking into account. Should my child live with grandparents? See this article.

Even though it seems crazy that three generations share the same roof, as this coexistence can be a source of conflict, nowadays many children are forced to live with their grandparents due to their parents’ unfavorable economic circumstances.

While for any child grandparents are wonderful, they have a bad reputation: instead of seeing them as the best companions, full of love to give, they are seen as condescending towards grandchildren and remiss in their education.  What is certain is that being a grandfather or a grandmother is an intense job, indicated only for wise people with a lot of experience.

They raised you when you were very young and today are the heads of the family, considered in many societies to be sources of wisdom. The problem lies in the coexistence resulting from sharing the house with them or even when one of the grandparents moves into their house.

Even though this situation is often complicated, don’t get desperate. Many experts have gone to the trouble of analyzing what happens when our children live with their grandparents. Find out in this article what the advantages and disadvantages are.

When a child needs to live with grandparents

There are many children who, for various reasons, need to live with their grandparents, who are in charge of taking care of the grandson when the parents have many occupations. The older ones tend to do anything for the little ones they love so much, but actually having to live with their grandparents can cause some difficult situations.

Children who need to live with grandparents often miss their parents and want to live with them. As for the grandparents, taking on this responsibility means the obligation to maintain a rhythm that sometimes they can no longer take, to take care of the child and monitor their activities.

What if grandparents move into our house?

If grandparents are the ones who need to move into our home, all members of the household are forced to adapt to the considerable changes that will take place after the move. For example, children are often forced to change rooms or even share the TV with other family members.

Certainly having to move to a house that is not yours can also be difficult for grandparents. But once the adjustment period is over, both the child and the parents will enjoy the company and quality time they can share together.

Living with grandparents, a source of conflict

Coexistence is never easy. And it’s even harder when at least five or six people have to share a small space. Thus, frictions are unavoidable, not only at the family level, but also present themselves in the form of couple conflicts, as intimacy and independence decrease as grandparents’ trust increases.

Tolerance with grandparents will also depend on the relationship you have with them, that is, whether they are parents or in-laws. Another factor that can turn the situation into a pressure cooker about to explode is the health condition of the older person in question.

However, the most powerful source of conflict is that which has to do with raising grandchildren. Parents and grandparents often have different views about the education of children. This issue is a reason for misunderstandings, apprehensions and suspicions that create discomfort and damage relationships.

Benefits of living with grandparents

• Your child will be in great hands as you go about your activities and duties. If you work or study, this help to take care of the children is great.
• The help is great and comes with a great deal of experience, capable of extinguishing any uncertainty typical of a first-time mother or a mother who works a lot.
• Motherhood is really exhausting work. If your child lives with grandparents, this allows you to have some time off or rest and moments to unwind.

• The child receives double love, attention and special care. No wonder. A double dose of kisses and hugs multiplies your child’s motivation and self-esteem. Is there a better way to grow?
• You will give your little one more stimulation.
•  Grandparents can provide useful and valid opinions as long as they are duly consulted on certain facts or aspects related to child rearing.
• Both you and your child will be able to receive, from grandparents, smiles and support from a person with a lot of experience and love to spare.
• The little one can get to know their roots and family traditions through the experiences of the elderly.
• Living with grandparents facilitates the affective development of children and teaches them the value of the elderly, even when the years have already weakened them.

Disadvantages for children living with grandparents

• Unsolicited corrections, advice and suggestions, even when well intentioned, are unpleasant and not always welcome.
• It causes a certain lack of independence at the individual level, as well as within the couple and the family.
• It is difficult to develop your own family customs if you are compelled to respect those that already exist in the family.
• Problems can arise when there is no individual space for the couple. Or also when there is no patience and tolerance.
• Excessive concessions to children, both for permissions and gifts. The limits we set are weakened when authority is in the hands of grandparents.
• Jealousy of grandparents can arise, as children spend many hours with them while you work or study. With that you can end up feeling that they know about those little jokes that you missed.

• You may feel that your little one is better off with them than with you. Forget it! That’s not how it happens, as your little one knows very well who his mommy is. You will always be the favorite.