How To Foster Good Sibling Relationships
Siblings are the first interaction with an equal in a child’s life. With them, they learn to share and be tolerant. It is common that during this learning conflict and disputes occur, however, the parents’ attitude towards this can help to develop a good relationship between the siblings.
Our brothers are our first friends, confidants and life partners. With them, we experience and shape our limits and our social identity. With them, we learned to share our toys, our spaces and even our parents.
All these learnings are not an easy task. It takes time to develop empathy, tolerance and cooperation skills. And it is exactly our brothers who are responsible for accompanying us on this adventure. Therefore, it is not surprising that difficulties arise in the process.
Good relationship between siblings: better prevention
If we want to promote a good relationship between siblings, the task starts before the arrival of the second child. It is necessary to prepare the firstborn to abandon their role as an only child. If we don’t help him with the transition, jealousy and rivalry about the new baby can arise.
To avoid this situation, we must involve the older brother in the entire process of welcoming the new family member. We have to explain what will happen and share with him the illusion of imagining what the new baby brother will be like and all the things they will be able to do together.
After the second child is born, we have to make an effort to integrate the oldest child into the new family dynamic. We can ask him to help by bringing a diaper, choosing clothes for the younger brother or singing him to sleep.
Tips for Promoting Good Sibling Relationships
be an example
When raising a child, our actions are worth more than our words. If we want our children to establish a good relationship with each other, we must be a role model. If we tend to raise our voice or lose our posture, we can’t blame our kids when they do too. We should try to be respectful and understanding of others.
How we talk and act with our own siblings is also important. If the little ones observe us interacting with them out of friendship and affection, they will internalize this model. In addition, it may be helpful to share with them some stories from our childhood in which we shared complicity and support with our siblings.
Avoiding comparisons and distinctions
We must accept and value our children in their uniqueness. Every child has the right to develop their own personality and be loved for who they are. Therefore, it is not advisable to make comparisons between siblings.
It’s unpleasant and disheartening to feel that your parents don’t value you for who you are, but in comparison to your brother. Try, therefore, to extol the particular virtues of each of your children independently.
On the other hand, it is important not to make distinctions in the time and attention we give each child. It is true that some children are more demanding than others and that, at certain times in their lives, one of them will need us more than their siblings.
However, it is important to make an effort not to forget that the independent child, the one who does not cause problems, also needs our attention and our time, and we should act with him as we do with the rest.
mediate without imposing
Faced with a conflict between our children, it is easy to fall into the role of judge and impose the solution to their dilemma. However, it is much more useful for them to guide them to find out for themselves. It is important that we teach them to dialogue, to respect the turn to speak and listen to the other. Negotiate, cooperate and reach agreements.
Share experiences
The best way to establish an affective bond between siblings is living experiences. Try to find moments and activities that your children can share. Play board games as a family, encourage them to do household chores or schoolwork together so they will be more enjoyable times for them.
If the children agree, sharing a room is a good way to live moments of complicity and trust that will undoubtedly strengthen fraternal bonds.
